The Phony Pharoah Loses Big

There is no evidence that the Duke of Edinburgh ordered Diana's execution.
- British coroner Lord Justice Scott Baker

Thank God our dirty raincoat show for the world is finally over. 10 years and £10 million too late, as far as the taxpayer is concerned. The Phony Pharoah is -- surprise, surprise -- undeterred that his farce of a conspiracy theory was found wanting, his preposterous claim that the Princess was murdered by M16 and the British Monarchy, with the sole exception of the Queen. We can only assume he didn't include the Queen because he calculated this would not go over well with Her subjects, whereas Prince Charles and Prince Philip are fair game, given their less than perfect past in the minds of the public. Al-Fayed may be crazy and twisted, but he is no dummy.

It was, of course, long ago established that the man is a rather loathsome figure with a dishonourable past. There was the Department of Trade Inquiry into his purchase of Harrods; there was his maliciously false accusation that Rowland Rowans stole millions in jewelry from his store; there was his cash for questions scandal, for which MPs were paid for asking questions on his behalf, who were later dismissed or imprisoned; there was his arrest by the police, for which he sued and lost; and there were his numerous fruitless attempts to gain British citizenship, but denied on the grounds of proven bad character. Yet, for all of this, for the last 10 years he was handed a public soapbox and the circus platform opportunity to air his multiple grievances against the State.

The real conspiracy here is not a conspiracy to murder but a conspiracy to marry. The not so blind truth was surely his desire to manipulate his son to marry Princess Diana for the purpose of fathering him semi-royal grandchildren, in order to win him influence the world over, including with his public enemies. And the tragic outcome of his behaviour, of manoeuvering against the monarchy and against his enemies, is that a father lost a son and a people lost a Princess. End of sad story.

So goodbye and good riddance to the Phoney Pharaoh. You have entertained us long enough.